The many thoughts you face at New Year can be so overwhelming and fill you with fear or on the other hand it can inspire and push you to dive head first into your resolutions,pick up a fresh outlook and steam ahead with no fear or apprehension what so ever.
personally the thought of it terrified me to my very core and i did shed a few tears as i mulled over the events of 2019. Knowing how much i grew in 2019 is a comfort though,some days were really awful and some were not. I got through each thing that challenged me by trusting my instincts and being true to myself in those moments but if i did need extra support i knew where i could find it and with the help of the special people in my life i was able to navigate these stressful times and be left with a smidge of self pride and dignity even if some days i felt like i had none.One thing i am hoping i will be able to be in 2020 is Happy. Its quite a big ask specially while living with depression and anxiety but i have been able to get this far so why not dream big eh 🙂
Self care is also going to be a huge part of 2020 as it was for the most part of 2019. Some of us have many ways in which we practice self care but we must begin to make self care part of who we are not a passing thought or an action on a to-do list. Learning to put yourself first at all times can be hard,we live a life online,this digital age has us always living a moment ahead of ourselves and experiencing life through a screen instead of our own eyes most of the time. The aim is to steal moments of clarity in order to help our mental health improve,sometimes i have to say it does feel almost impossible when it feels like we are living in a fish bowl.
Small victories can be such a blessing and sometimes it really is the small things that make the biggest difference. Personally i can not make resolutions as i know i will struggle to stick to them then beat myself up over it but what i can and will be doing is treating myself a little kinder each day.
Daunting as it is i think that a new year is a new opportunity to reinvent yourself or your state of mind at least. For me throwing out those old thoughts processes and learning to look ahead instead of looking back is so important. I am my own worst enemy sometimes so learning and adjusting to be my own best friend is the biggest challenge of all.
After a lovely day working in the Aquarium at World Museum Liverpool last week assisting behind the scenes and gaining more valuable skills along with looking forward to really exciting times in Chester & Prague i am heading into the next few weeks feeling like the possibilities are endless. Keeping this outlook will be hard i know as it can so quickly be taken away from me but here it is in black and white ,i can always look back and know that any overwhelming fear or anxiety is just temporary because in this moment i am okay,things are good and they can be this way again 🙂