2020 Revisited

So 2020 has not got off to the best of starts has it with all of our routines having been flipped upside down we are left to adjust to this new way of living. As i sit here i am thinking back to the last time i did anything even remotely ‘normal’ i say that because what is normal? Before this pandemic i was not having the best of times so the social distancing did not really hit me until the first time i visited the supermarket and we were lining up 2 metres apart,empty aisles and shelves looking like the scenes straight out of a movie,it almost felt like the apocalypse was upon us and i would soon have to retreat to an underground bunker and live out the rest of my life there. In all honesty my optimism in the last post was squashed quick sharp when i had some pretty difficult personal stuff to deal with at the start of the year but then all this happening on top of that has really thrown me through a loop. Not knowing quite how to cope with that has lead me back here it has also allowed me to look in to a few more of my hobbies and interests that had taken a back seat.

I have noticed that baking is the new going out for most the worlds inhabitants and i am no exception, i have to say it has been something that i have really missed ,i am really enjoying getting back into it,sometimes it works out sometimes it does not but its so much fun trying. I have made everything from a classic Victoria Sponge to mini Cheese cakes to chocolate truffles and believe it or not i too made some banana bread and the very popular Dolgona coffee with questionable results.

Finding joy in the little things like waking up early ,getting out the house for a nice walk or making a nice breakfast and taking time for self care weather that be a good bubble bath ,some meditation or a night watching your favourite movie with your favourite snacks. I am however guilty of not sticking by that and i have struggled a lot with my sleeping pattern alot since lock down began,i bet a lot of you have and when all the days begin to feel exactly same who can blame us. Its taken some time but the lock down has actually forced me in a weird way to actually get motivated as i do not have much else to do. On the days i struggle i try not too be too hard on myself as i know there will eventually be a day that will come round when i will feel able to handle things. Other days i just want to sit on the sofa,order things from Ebay and cry. Sounds grim and it really is but at least at a time like this i can be sure that i am not alone and that there are plenty of people who i can turn to for advice , a moaning sesh or just a good old chat. you guys are the best,sending all my love to you at this really strange time, Thank You for always being there for me. I am also very lucky to have the most wonderful husband who looks after me single everyday ,no matter what, even if it means watching a movie he is not really into just because he knows that i like it or cooking my favourite tea and spending the entire evening playing 21 questions & heads up with me because he knows i need cheering up. These are the little things that keep me going and i am so grateful.

I would be interested to know how everyone else has been keeping busy during this time,apart from watching a lot of TV eating too many snacks and generally being a nervous wreck i have been rather slow getting started . With 2 of my best friends who i admire so much being artists they both turn to being creative in the wake of a global pandemic so i am taking a leaf out of their book and doing my best to believe in my abilities,they really do help me and inspire me more than they realise ,love you ladies and miss you so much, not seeing you is so hard but once all this is over we will have the biggest catch up ever with the biggest piece of cake any of us have ever seen!

In another bid to reduce my procrastination I have started an online course with the Open University and taken up my writing again so i consider that a win. Knowing you can and feeling able are two very different things. I know i have a long way to go but giving up is not an option and i will feel better,it just takes time and i have plenty of that on my hands right now.

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