2020 ,Chapter 3



As many people and places are returning to some sort of normality I am left thinking about what the new normal is going to be for me?
There has been so many thoughts racing around this little head of mine over these past months in lockdown ,through the seemingly endless days & nights i have really struggled and quite frankly my head hurts from all the uncertainty i am about to face but if you have read my previous posts you will know i am on a mission to work through my issues to begin to trust myself & my instincts more so that i can live a more peaceful,stress free life.
I will be returning to my job in a few weeks, upon returning i will need to adapt to a new routine & probably new duties most of which i have not done either in a long time or atall.
I am hoping that this return to a routine can bring some clarity though I am under no illusion that this will be a challange i want the impact to be positive. My routine and how i do things currently is sporadic so my little virgo soul is desperate for some real structure. Will the impact of this help me grow as a person? Will it give me the answers i need to the questions i am yet to ask?
So many people i know have made massive changes since march,be it because they needed to or because they wanted to. Sadly I do feel as if my progress has been a little slow, i dont want to be hard on myself but my need to sort my life out has been strong, i know loads of you will understand this feeling,im defo not alone in this,those of you who have been furloughed or working from home may have had a change of heart as to what you want to do in life or what direction you want to be going in too . While i know my passions & strengths i still do not know my direction just yet but i should not feel bad about that.
We see so much bull online like ‘My life is perfect , ‘My relationship is the perfect , ‘I always make the right choices’ but in reality life is hard,not enough people admit that.
I do feel like i should be proclaiming i have acheived so much during this time that im a much better person for it but again the reality is that im pretty much the same as i was before ive just spent much more time at home this year. The things that we learn from such odd experinces will be unique to each of us. It could be the thing that totally changes is or it could be the thing that make us realise we are exactly where we need to be in life.

I feel i have felt just about all the feelings there are during this chapter of 2020 but i am happy aswell as a little scared to keep going and find out what else is around the corner.

I dont know what the new normal will bring but i just hope it will be positive & help me gain even more clarity in these strange times.

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